hello. goodbye.

i need to write more.
i say that to myself almost every day. but, like anything else in life, it requires 'making' time to do so.

today i have been thinking about the idea of "loss" and what it really means to "lose someone."

you can lose a person through death, or maybe you have lost them because your relationship didn't work out. or maybe you lost them because you "drifted apart" due to time/distance/whatever. as different as each of these are, they all come down to the same thing- you no longer have a person that you once had.

sometimes we lose someone that played a very small role in our lives.. and there may be a few days or weeks of missing them, but most of the time those smaller roles can be filled. other times we lose someone that had a significant place in our world. someone that, wether or not they were even aware of it, you counted on. you would rely on them. to even make it through a day, you needed them. they held a deep value in your heart.

and then, i think there is a different type of loss - which i can only describe by saying that sometimes people's 'position' in your life changes. sometimes they will be playing a certain role one day, and then the next day... they take on a completely different one. they shift. they change. or maybe you shift. you change.

either way, this is a loss also.

and i guess what i'm getting at with all of this is: losing someone, in any way, always brings up the potential to learn something. there is a lesson that life (and God) will try to teach you when you lose someone.

maybe you can reflect on the life of someone that has passed away, and you can be changed by their memories and the things that they taught you. or maybe you can look back and think about a friendship that no longer exists and at least be grateful that someone was willing to be your friend... and that you were willing to be theirs.

i have learned that loss doesn't always mean pain. and even in losing, you can win something- even if it's something small. you can grow. and you can allow yourself to be molded.

i have learned that sometimes... even the ugliest moments of life, are really just beautiful things in disquise.