i will admit that this week has not been the easiest.
after you recover from the initial shock of someone's death, you hit this wall of emotions and it's like the weirdest roller coaster you've ever ridden. i've never in one week been so disappointed, confused, angry, relieved, grateful, at war and at peace.. all at once.
i hate to turn this blog into venting sessions about losing my father. but yesterday was basically horrible. one minute i was minding my own business at work, probably filing papers or something.. and the next, i feel myself starting to cry- i can't breathe- it feels as though someone is pushing down on my chest.. and i can't stop myself from sobbing. like a little kid.
somewhere in my mind i hear myself talking to me, or to my dad, and i felt like i suddenly asked him.. "you're not coming back, are you?"
a part of me really hoped it was a bad dream, his death. it's beginning to sink in that i am very much awake, and not dreaming at all.
1 comment:
Katie,
It is so hard. It's been over 15 years for me, and I still have those days. The good news is they are fewer and farther between now. I hope it helps you to know that there are people (like ME) who know how you feel, and are praying for you every day. It's a different life, but it can be good again, I promise. :-)
Mrs. Katrina
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