starbucks.

i am blogging from starbucks. i'm seated across a small table from my father. behind me is a man in a blue shirt, with glasses. i can see him in the reflection of my lap top screen. (sorry for being a little creepy)

the whole 'starbucks experience' can be a little embarrassing. first of all, when you place an order- they don't ask for your name. right? so you order, let's say... a tall no-whip mocha. and this is how you are identified. this is how we know where you are. we make your beverage and then we shout across the store, "TALL NO-WHIP MOCHA!"

...which is fine, for those of us ordering tall no-whip mochas.

but, alas, you have the manly men ordering grande non-fat cinnamon soy lattes. and everyone stops to stare at him as he stands up to retrieve his dainty girl beverage from the counter top.

pretty ego-shattering stuff.

starbucks is like the schoolyard for adults. like when you were six and maybe you were the scrawny one with glasses (like me) and the big kids would pick on you and throw things at you. starbucks is like that, except this time.. you're grown up, you look normal, you're not scrawny, and nobody cares about your glasses.

but when you stand up to collect your freakishly feminine coffee from that starbucks barista. we are making fun of you, in our minds. and oh yes, we would throw things if we could.

you're 52, you probably work at a bank, you have a couple grandkids on the way, and you just ordered a non-fat cinnamon soy latte.

you should be ashamed of yourself.