sixth.

emotionally and personally not an easy day for me. i did my best to make the most of it. i had my hopes up for it, but it didn't turn out to be all i wanted.

the best part, hands down, was children's church tonight. spending a little time with a bunch of silly, creative, crazy kids is always good for anyone. i had about one hundred "flowers" picked for me (weeds), played a little basketball, and had my arms & hands drawn on with washable markers by these cuties you see below.

oh, to be young again.

fifth.

i was unable to get a picture that truly described this day. here's my pawpaw in his house, watching tv. i went to spend a couple hours with him. we watched a civil wars show, discussed "the frozen chosen" (or maybe it was "chosen frozen...), we talked about bakeries, we watched 'dancing with the stars' and i laughed at his open criticism of the dancer's costumes. i also found a new friend in my cousin-in-law, she and i had lunch together. and i enjoyed my day at work, because i get to spend eight hours with fun, beautiful people... and there's an un-ending supply of coffee and easter candy. AND the weather was perfect. the end.

fourth.

spent the afternoon with my sister away from sisters. and here she is in one of those "hurricane simulator" machines at the mall. 78 mph winds in that box. we did some shopping, did some talking, running in the rain, and did some sharing of our hearts. it was very good for me.

third.

my sisters and i have always been very close. i consider the two of them my best friends. they believe in me, support me, offer honest advice, hold me up, listen.. and make me laugh.

today is my older sister's birthday and so, today's picture is of her. she's beautiful. what makes her lovely though is her huge heart. she is compassionate and sweet, and pure kindness pours out of her in the most natural way. i'm lucky & i'm blessed to have someone like her to look up to.

happy birthday, misty. love you always.

second.

it's going to be my attempt to do the whole "picture a day" this month. i know i missed yesterday. but hey, it happens. so here goes. day one. april 2nd.

tonight my little cousins came over to watch nickelodeon, put together nemo puzzles, chase each other around the house, eat cheese puff balls, play fruit ninja on the ipad, scream, giggle, make popcorn, show off bruises/scratches/scars, wrestle, give out a million hugs, tell stories... and anything else they could get their hands into.

no words to describe how much they add to my life.

authenticity.

(i apologize for the cramped formatting of this blog, blogspot.com wouldn't let me break it into paragraphs. sorry, guys.) something that i've always wanted to be is authentic. this is a word that is over-used and it even seems a little bit cliche' in certain circles, but i can appreciate it. it's a good word. i think you can start pretty easily by figuring out things you like or don't like, things that energize you or things that drain you, things that you're amazing at and things you suck at... you get it. i've been on my own small journey to figure i've been on my own personal journey to figure these things out. there's this reallyyyy famous dr seuss quote: "be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." ...it's clever, its cute & like a lot of his statements- it's simple but smart. so, personally, i'm defining authenticity as just being and saying what comes naturally to me. doing what energizes me- painting, reading, laughing, being with people who inspire me and encourage me. going with the flow. asking questions, serving people, figuring out what they need and trying to be there for them. this is who i am. i don't have to be a forced or fake version of myself, i don't have to be like anyone else. if i embrace people and situations honestly, then life won't be difficult. it will just fall into place. i think if i can really nail this, and also reject negativity (which the world has way too much of), then i'll be able to simplify my life a lot. i also think/hope/believe that a lot of great things are going to come into & out of my life. but we'll see. and, the part of the quote that says "those who mind don't matter" makes me think of some of the decisions i've made lately... no matter how critical people can be, my life is my own- and it would be silly to live it only to meet other people's expectations of me. be who you are, say what you feel. take in each moment, appreciate the small things. be grateful, be giving, be real. those who mind don't really matter.. and those who matter, will love you more for it.

i don't know.

i realize that it's been quite some time.
whatever. it doesn't really matter. i have had A LOT going on in my life.
maybe not so much in my life, as in my soul. i've had a lot going on in my soul.

ya know... blogging can be... somewhat intimidating. you are opening up yourself to people, you're willingly being vulnerable. and you're saying- this is me. it's private. but when you post the blog... it's not private anymore.

so, there are plenty of things i could tell you. i could talk to you as if we were the only people in the room. but i can't do that. because... we aren't. i could share with you all the small details of every part of my life that is difficult or challenging. i could tell you my dreams, i could tell you my fears. but i can't.

i can tell you this: the process of growing up is really painful. it's powerful, and passionate, but so painful. with my life, as an example- it seems that i can make plans- or at least, have an idea of where things are headed... and then suddenly, in the words of my sister, i am "ripped up by my roots".

if i am a plant, there has never been time for my roots to take to the soil. i have never been comfortable. i have been shifted, and i have sat under the weight of dirt, rain, and all sorts of storms.

but.

the important thing is.. i'm still growing. there is growth. there isn't a seed, there isn't a dying plant, there is something that is reaching up for the sunlight. something that is digging down deep, trying so hard to take root.

and this is what my life has been. from the day i was born. grow, God told me.

so i will.